Fort Road Labyrinth: STP Sewers
Paris is really much nicer!
A thick belt of sandstone runs beneath much of St. Paul between Summit Avenue and the river, mainly beneath West 7th and nearby streets. This area is home to a twisting maze of sandstone sewers known as the Fort Road Labyrinth. In addition to offering the majority of the district's bowel contents, this sewer system also connects to abandoned brewery caves, utility tunnels, and other forgotten spaces beneath the city. Until recently it was generally believed that one could travel from a certain hole, or a certain brewery, all the way across town to "That one place" in the sewer system. A recent mission showed this route to be infeasible prior to the application of French feline aperture methods. Tests with ebay-grade gas sensors have also shown what was generally accepted among explorers, that these sewers have dangerous amounts of methane and low levels of oxygen, making exploration very dangerous. (The rest of this page may be total bullshit, but the danger is very real. Stay the fuck out kids!)
Some typical sewer tunnels in the FRL. Most are made of bare sandstone
with a brick invert (floor), containing a poo channel. This channel is
placed in the center, possibly to make walking along the edges easy, but
is often a tripping and ankle twisting hazard.
Larger Interceptor sewers designed to handle larger volume of poo flow.
The first photo shows a junction with a cool carving at the split.
Some popular tourist destinations include a variety of "Sewer Rat"
worker carvings, odd organically-shaped rooms, places where other tunnels
pass over the sewers, and the popular Octagon Room, which offers cell phone
reception and fresh air from a shaft to the surface.
Big-game hunters will be pleased by the number and size of mutant rats
whose one goal in life is to devour your face and/or testicles.
Eating lunch and changing your socks while surrounded by "Le Poop"
is also a fun activity.
Sewer dwellers show off the latest fashions. Chest waders are a must,
raincoats are optional, and SARS masks don't do much aside from keeping
shitspiders and snotsicles out of your face.
And now, the poop you've all been waiting for!
Can you find two things that are the same in this picture? Look closely...